Faces of Grace
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
I was overwhelmed by the open, honest, and insightful responses to the last blog entry about perfectionism. I was also blessed with a number of face to face conversations regarding this entry over the last week that helped solidify my thoughts again on why I believe perfectionism and expectations steal our joy.
My husband and I have three sons who we encourage to always do their best. Our attempt to limit perfectionism has nothing to do with the hope that our sons will always focus and give 100% to their endeavors. Matter of fact, perfectionism is not an act at all... It is an attitude. The opposite of this perfectionistic attitude is an attitude of grace.
What is grace? We can think of grace in the context of physical grace, social grace, emotional grace under stress or pressure, and spiritual grace. These faces of grace are all quite different, but in common is the person that makes it all look beautiful, easy, even effortless. Perfectionism is the peak of the mountain we are always striving to stay atop, high, closed, rigid, and mostly barren. Grace is the valley to which all flows effortlessly toward, low, open, receptive, and full of life. Where perfectionism strives, grace is a no striving zone. Grace is magnetic. We are all drawn to the graceful.
"Take my yoke upon you... For my yoke is easy and my burden light." Matt 11:29-30.
Perfectionism or grace are not part of the act but rather a moment to moment response to the outcome of an action, statement, thought, or event. Perfectionism is a state of pride, fear, and expectations. In contrast, grace is a state of humility, courage, and non-attachment.
Being non-attached to a specific expectation or outcome in no way means we do not have goals. Visions and goals are critical to us staying on a focused path of action and creation. They are the light along our journey. But if we try to steer that light we end up with a flashlight beam of limited vision instead of an overhead light of endless possibility, and worse, we run the risk of missing much of the beauty, wonder, and joy of the journey itself.
Your comments always make the entry. Thank you in advance for your thoughts. Michele
Photo from Hubble Photo Gallery.
Suggested book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World
My husband and I have three sons who we encourage to always do their best. Our attempt to limit perfectionism has nothing to do with the hope that our sons will always focus and give 100% to their endeavors. Matter of fact, perfectionism is not an act at all... It is an attitude. The opposite of this perfectionistic attitude is an attitude of grace.
What is grace? We can think of grace in the context of physical grace, social grace, emotional grace under stress or pressure, and spiritual grace. These faces of grace are all quite different, but in common is the person that makes it all look beautiful, easy, even effortless. Perfectionism is the peak of the mountain we are always striving to stay atop, high, closed, rigid, and mostly barren. Grace is the valley to which all flows effortlessly toward, low, open, receptive, and full of life. Where perfectionism strives, grace is a no striving zone. Grace is magnetic. We are all drawn to the graceful.
"Take my yoke upon you... For my yoke is easy and my burden light." Matt 11:29-30.
Being non-attached to a specific expectation or outcome in no way means we do not have goals. Visions and goals are critical to us staying on a focused path of action and creation. They are the light along our journey. But if we try to steer that light we end up with a flashlight beam of limited vision instead of an overhead light of endless possibility, and worse, we run the risk of missing much of the beauty, wonder, and joy of the journey itself.
Your comments always make the entry. Thank you in advance for your thoughts. Michele
Photo from Hubble Photo Gallery.
Suggested book Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World
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